Wednesday, December 2, 2009
My joys and breakdowns
I guess I have always been emotional, although, being pregnant does make it worse.. Sometimes, I am so happy I cant contain it and others I just can't seem to get through the day without crying. Today, I broke down thinking about my mom.. I sent out an email to everyone in the village asking forgivness and saying thank you, and only one person replied.. It stung, hurt, and my heart sank. To make it worse, I asked my mom if she got it and all she replied was "yes". I need to let go and move on and I can't seem to.. Why do people there hate me so much that they can't even forgive me? That they delete me from their lives, I am dead to them, to everything I have known my whole life. How can they do that? I try and all I do is end up in tears when reality hits me. I want to just love God no matter what.. I miss and love my family so much, and I hope they realize one day, that I am not dead. May God help me through the next few months till I have my baby and after. I asked my mom to come, but she nor my sister will give me an answer.. Guess its not ment to be.. First my wedding and now the baby. Please just pray that that I get over the pain soon..