Friday, December 10, 2010


Well, I finally decided to sit down and write. Guess I am really bad at that. My family and i are doing good. Just trusting God to take care of us. My husband is laid off of work due to the job not having enough work to go around. He has been applying for jobs and so far, it is not going well. Today he did get an interview so I am hoping that works out. God has taken care of us this far and i am sure he will continue.

I am almost done with my 2nd semester in school. Just one more axam to go in math. I get a nice break till Jan 24th then I start my next 3 classes which are Human services and psych(which I don't enjoy at all). I am going to get my AA degree in early childhood development, which will allow me to work in daycares, teach kindergarden and other small things. So far, things are going well and i am maintaining a A in my classes, although, I think I may get a B on the last math test :)

Diego is growing fast. He is 10 1/2 months and thinks he is the king. He is standing on his own although, once he notices it, he will sit down. He has a ear infection right now and we are doing meds for that, so hopefully he will be feeling better soon. He is a little charmer and is the most outgoing child i have ever seen. He is not scared of anything or anyone, besides this little fake mouse that he hates. He loves playing with Malakie and Addie and they are soo cute playing together. He plays chase and peekaboo, which is absolutely adorable.

As for foster care, we finished our classes and now have to spend this following year getting an apartment, getting is aprroved and doing all the paper and background checks. We will be all done with everything by Nov next year then can take 1 baby in. I am looking forward to doing it, although I know it will be hard letting them go. Carlos and I both feel this is the direction God is taking us, so we are waiting for him.

I am blessed to have a family like mine. Nate and Rachel are the best adoptive parents i could ever ask for and i am so proud of my mom for everything she has been through and staying so strong. I love all my little sisters and my big sis. I am so proud to be an aunt of the 2 most beautiful little girls.

Sometimes when i start to doult God's love, I just have to remember all he has forgiven me for and loved me anyways. I only have to look at Rachel and my mom and know He loves me cause he gave me the best family I can have. I can't wait to come visit again. Diego should be walking by then :) Love you all and blessings from Rhode island

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

An long overdue update

Today, I've begun to notice just how fast my little boy is growing up. He pulls himself up on the side of his crib, so now we have to drop it lower. I think he is starting to perfer food over mommy's milk and he is everywhere. We have begun to babyproof the apartment but he tends to find whatever he is not sposed to have, like plants, fireworks(the outside paper that is), paper in general. He loves chewings shoes, so now everyone has to keep their feet out of reach when he is around :) I am so blessed to have a little man like him. Such a wonderful thing.

Monday, July 19, 2010


Headed to TN in 5 days... Wow!!!!!! I can't wait. I am excited to see my family (all of them) and get to hold my neice for the first time. Time flies and i can't believe it. I thank God he is giving me this time to go and be at Chasah's wedding too.. Its a blessing

Friday, June 11, 2010

Small Update

I figured I would sit down and write a small update on whats happening up here.

I am a stay at home mom, which is what I wanted to do. I enjoy spending my days at home with my little man and not having to worry about getting a job and such. I babysit Addie for Liz while she works during the day, which I enjoy, although all she does is makes up sleep from not sleeping during the night. :) She is a cute little girl. My husband, Carlos, works 6:30 to 5 monday-friday and sometims till 12 on Sat. I am learning to be a wife and mother and at times, I can honestly say, it's not easy, but I can also say that I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I am going back to school Sept 7th to get my associate degree in Early Childhood development, so I can start a Daycare. Although, I plan to finish my 4 year degree in Education, so I can teach. I plan on homeschooling Diego, and anymore children if we ever have more. It will be a work going to school and being mom but I know plenty of moms that have. I am only taking 2 classes to start with, so that i can see what I can handle. School is 15 mins away, so its not bad.

We have lots of babies in RI now. Tammy Schieder has 2 children, Rose and Lucy. I have Diego; Liz has Addie; Cassie has Kai; and we have another couple who has 2 children, Angus and Coleman. And we have a new mom who is 12 weeks along with her first. So our gatherings are busy :) . i am going to try and get family shots on Sun to put up, if it does not rain.

We just bought our tickets to fly down to TN on July 24th for the wedding. We will be there till Aug 2nd. We are staying with Nathaniel and Rachel, YEAH!!!!!! It will be fun on the plane since Diego has never flown before. Nor is he used to being in his carseat for the trip from Nash to Selmer, but he will learn. Diego is one of the best baby's you can ever have. Besides not sleeping threw the night :). He is learning to sit up and loves to roll over (only at night when he is sposed to be sleeping though). He has tons of hair and i can't decide to cut it or not. I think I will wait till we go to TN and have someone down there help me. I would mess it all up if I tried.

I miss everyone at home, although I am very nervous to be coming back. Not sure how people will react towards me. A lot of people have blocked me or ignored me since I left and so it's kinda awkward but I know that everyone needs time to heal. But I hope that people can still be friendly though. I love everyone there and can't wait to see all my friends again, and all my little sisters and my big sis and new niece. I am sure most of you are looking forward to seeing me and my family and if you are not, thats ok. I am excited.

Well that is kinda a update. I am really bad about rabbit trails when writing so hope it's understandable. Thank you to the people who do talk to me now, because it does make it easier and less freaky to come back to visit :)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


I made my blog privite since some people were getting on that I perfer not being here. So there is my explaination :) I mainly post pictures here, although I write some. I will be doing a update on what is going on soon, and will post it in a while

Thursday, April 29, 2010

My little man

Mom visiting

I am soooo happy my mom is going to be coming up to visit. I can't wait till she meets her little grandson..

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Just some random thoughts.

I have been doing a lot of thinking, although most of the times, people wonder if I think at all (Frank)... :)
Lately, I know that God has been doing some magor testing in me and I start to question life in general. I know he loves me and bessed me but then I start wondering why he is doing everything he is. With all the problems I am having with nursing, birth, and now the car being stolen and our chances of going to TN has dropped to a low chance. I know there is a reason and I need to be ok with God doing all he does. I don't need to give myself a place to question the God who created me and who gave me a husband when I didn't deserve him, nor am I allowed to question a God who gave me a wonderful son who reminds me of God everytime I look in his eyes. So why do I struggle with just letting God take the lead and me to sit in the backseat with my mouth shut and my heart open. Kinda reminds me of life in general. I have always had a problem with trust, whether it had to do with people or with driving. People hated driving with me in the car. I got so nervous and annoying that at times I would just lay down and close my eyes cause I didn't want to watch us crash. :) I really drove people nuts like Chasah and Neharah. But if my spiritual life, I am the same way. If i am not in control, then I struggle letting go of the wheel and trusting God to stay on the road. he is a lot better driver then me, I am sure, but why do I hold on so hard? What am I fighting to stay in control? What am I afraid of?
I don't know, and that is why it frustrates me to no end. Why can't I just be ok with God and his plans. It is my goal by the end of this year, to let my life go and let the driver take control. No longer holding on to what I fear but letting whatever happens, happen. God is my maker and I am learning to be his child instead of me telling him what I want or need and being a spoiled rotten know it all.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I have been learning alot lately.. Mostly about trust. I learned that I do not trust anybody but myself, and that I need to learn how. God has loved me more then I can imagine, and I am so thankful. He is asking me to trust him now, by trusting the people he put in my life.
I get so upset when things don't go my way, but quite often, there is a really good reason they didn't and most of the time, If I would just be patient, I would see why.
God has a plan for my life, and I know he does. It must be a big one because he keeps chasing me and bringing me back to him, everytime I try to run away from him. So I know he is wanting me to learn and trust him, by trusting the people around me. To lean into love and not think negitive thoughts. I am God's daughter, no matter what anyone says, and no matter how bad I have messed up. God still loves me with unconditional love and I am thankful to him for is love and mercy.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

My Birth Story

I figured i would write my birth story. Not very good at writing, but its a try.
I was 4 days late and went to my midwife on Jan 25th to get checked. She checked me and I was fully efaced and 2 cent dielated. She went ahead and stripped my membranes to hopefully get labor started. I went home and still was not having any contractions or even braxton-hicks, or if I was I had no idea it was them. I went through the whole day with nothing, and it was not till 10:30 pm while I was laying on my bed reading, that my water broke. And it was a lot of water. Guess I can blame some of that on my 49 lb weight gain. It was not 10 mins later I was having contractions every 2 mins that were about 40 secs long. I called the midwife and she said first time moms take a while and to call her back when I could not speak while having them. Well 30 mins later, Elizabeth called her back and told her I was having strong contractions and they were close. She still didn't think I was ready but told me to come in and she would check me. So we loaded up and went to the hospital. By time I got there and walked to the lobby, I was in a lot of pain and i still had all the paper work. After 20 mins of paper work, then I had to wait in the waiting room for about 20 more mins. I kept walking around till I almost wanted to screamed at them to get me a bed. Finally, they came and and took me to the exam room. My midwife came in and hooked me to the moniters and they decided to check me.. When she did, she was surprised to find me at 8 cent dielated. She called for the nurses to get me to the ABC (alternate birthing clinic) right away. I don't remember even going, its all all blur. I just remember thinking, if I have 14 hours of this, I won't be able to handle it. I got to the room and did everything I could to ease the pain. It was only a short time later that I started pushing. I had no idea what I was doing, so it was a good thing my midwife did. I pushed and with every 3rd push, I ended up puking. It made it hard to push for long. But Mary and my midwife along with Carlos were right there with encouragment. The baby was close to being out when his heartrate dropped to almost nothing. All I knew was my midwife started saying, you have to push, don't stop. We have to get the baby out now. So thats all I did was push and puke. I finally did it and when I looked at him, he was in shock and just laying there. He was born 4 hours after contractions started, at 2:45am. I started crying but the nurses took him to the table to get him moving. I was relieved to hear him scream. Turns out when my midwife checked me for tears, I had a rather exstinsive one. Then I started hemoraging. She called another doctor to come evaluate the tear and then they decided I needed to be moved to another room and checked further. I got to hold my little guy for a little bit while they checked me and then had to give him to Carlos. The put an epidural in and started me on lots of fluids via IV's. I was wheeled to the surgery room for a 3 hour surgery, for a 4th degree tear. I asked the doctor how bad it was and all she would respond was, really bad. I asked my midwife to please tell me, and she said i don't want to, but it would probably be best if you never had a normal birth again. The surgery was long and all I wanted was to sleep, which I did for a bit, but kept shaking and waking up. I was scared and had not seen my baby since the start of surgery. I did everything to keep from crying but it did not last long.. I wanted to call my mom but they wanted me to wait. I felt more alone in a room with 10 people then ever. I finally got done and asked how many stiches and they told me, to many to count. It was the worst the doctor had ever seen. I got taken to another room to recover and got hooked to morphin. I tried nursing but I was so spaced out. Later that day, the came and told me they needed to do a blood transfusion. So for the rest of the day I had IV's on both arms and blood being put in me. I managed to nurse even with both my arms hooked to tubes. Elizabeth and Cassie came to see me that afternoon and I think I scared both of them pretty bad, since they both are due too. I was able to get up to brush my teeth the next day but that was all.. It hurt to even stand. I spent the next 5 days at the hospital sleeping and spending time with Diego and Carlos. I got to go home on saturday but spent monday, tuesday and wednesday going abck and forth to DR appts and the hospital for test on Diego for his jundice.
So 4 weeks later, I still have the stiches and can't do a whole lot, but I am glad to be a mom and I am blessed to have a great husband and wonderful son.. He was worth it. i have to say, I am a bit scared to ever have another child. I am glad for the fast labor though.. 4 hours on the first baby, close to a record.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Today has been so tiring. I feel like all i have done is held and fed Diego. He wont sleep very long when I put him down and he spits up all the milk just so I can feed him every hour.. I don't know what to do.. I love him, just don't know how to make it better.

Monday, February 8, 2010

My Little Guy again...

Hope ya'll don't get sick of seeing Diego, cause I will be posting pictures of him most often.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Friday, January 22, 2010

Due Date

Well today, little "Diago" is due, but I have a big feeling that he is going to wait. I am so ready to see him. After 9 months of carrying him around, I think I am ready to have him out. He still kicks a lot and last night I was sick as anything. I spent half the night awake trying to get comfortable and feeling like puking. Drinking water does not help for sure.
Carlos is a great guy. He tried to make me comfortable and woke up a lot, even though he had to work today. I love him and our soon to be son.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

My little guy

He is not here yet, but I hope soon.. He digs his little knees or feet or something under my organs.. Not so fun. But so far, he is doing good...

Thursday, January 14, 2010


Please keep in your prayers the people in Haiti. I have several friends there who are ok but there are many more who have been killed or are suffering. Please pray for them..

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Baby Mendoza

I dropped a couple days ago, which I am glad. One, my scyatic nerve is not pinched anymore and I can sleep better and two, it means I am getting closer to having him out. I hope he is cute..
We went and got his changing table last night and some odds and ends we needed.. All we have left to get is a few small things. We have a lot of 0-3 clothes, probably more then we need, but at least thats better then not enough. I can't wait till he is here.