Thursday, January 13, 2011

A few lessons learned

God has been doing a lot with me spiritually, teaching me to be who I am supposed to be. I am blessed to have a husband who loves me wholeheartedly and helps me through each battle that comes my way. And yes, like any marriage, we do have are struggles to, but we always come through in the end.

This past week, he has been dealing with my emotions. :) Yes, he has been dealing with that for the past 20 years as many of you know, and I have not conquered them yet. But I plan too and i feel as though it is getting somewhat better. If I feel someone has hurt me in any way, I react in a very unloving, hurtful way back and make them pay, instead of just forgiving and letting God deal with it, I have a tendency to deal with problems myself. If someone says something i don;t like or i think is wrong, I react and have to be the one to point it out. I have noticed how much I notice my friends faults way more then I notice the good. (that was brought to my attention in a very painful way). I had build up so much anger at one of my best friends ever and started watching for anything she did that was wrong or hurtful. I started keeping track of faults and pointing out the deeds. To the point where I didn't have anything good to say any more. I had become so focused on the faults of others that I became so in tangled in it. Little did I know, it was going to come and bite me in the rear. God hit me hard and I spend a few days in anger, resentment, and bitterness towards her and myself and to be honest a bit with God. After several fights, I didn't even want to talk to, listen too and see her. Man, does God discipline hard. I had to face the truth in my heart that I was the problem. Instead of letting God deal with her faults and allowing my heart to heal from hurts, I tried to fix them myself. As a result of that, It caused a lot of conflict and hurts between both of us and now we are having to give each other space to grow with God without finding each others faults so often.

Thank God he gives 2ND chances, and in my case, hundred's of chances. I am learning and growing. In the mornings, Liz and i are going to read Psalms and Proverbs together to start rebuilding our relationship in Christ this time. Put aside our pasts, and build on our future with Christ's help now. Thank God we are sooo loved and blessed

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